I deal. Plain and simple, this has always been my solution to everything. I simply cope with what is going on in my life, accept it, and move on. It makes me cold sometimes, and makes me very unfeeling, but then again, that too, I accept. I decide it isn't worth being mad, so I vent briefly. My keystrokes transfer the energy I have inside, form, shape, and mold it into words. Then I move on. Yesterday was exactly why I had no choice but to move on.
I put off my homework in favor of going to the beach with CB and Erica. Was okay really, since I made myself get over the whole Jake kissing CB thing. After all, we are all just a bunch of friends, right? Anyway, so we walked the beach and talked, and all sorts of things. And I found out a lot about Erica. The more I know about her, the more I come to respect her as a person. She is simply awesome. Her life has been one of hell, and she triumphed. She is making it on her own after having been in New York, after having been in several different cities, at age 21 now - she is on her own and proud.
If I ever told her that though, she would look at me and scoff. She doesn't see herself as having made any major successes other than living her life. She is a drama queen (the evil drama queen over everything) and is the most sarcastic person I know. It is her weapon, and she wields it like a blade against her own anxieties and anger. I have honestly never seen Erica angry. And I have only seen her cry once. That was the New York incident. I want to think she is strong, but I honestly wonder how much she is like I am, simply channeling her own fears and urges to cry into another source. Mine is my writing, hers is unknown to me. Perhaps it is the little books she keeps where she scrawls her life out, one book, one chapter at a time. I gave her a book for her birthday, as did Chris. She was so thankful becuase writing in those would give her meaning. And they were gifts we knew she would no doubt use.
I am chilling before Spanish, a class that is slowly making its way onto my "not fun anymore" list. And really, all I am doing is coasting, existing, and not wanting to put together all the stuff I have to do by tonight. I really should get to listing...
In response to "Erica":