The original plan was to get out of my house and do something today. I did in fact do things, but what I could have done and what I did were very different. I had to make a call to Josh and Carrie about Jason, which wasn't much fun. I spent an hour with the car getting smogged, another hour or so at the Davidsons, and have been running errands.
My brother grew up way to fast. People always gave me a hard time about acting a lot older than I am, but I didn't have to do what he has been doing. I may as well share the news if you know my brother. One of his really good friends, Jason Davidson died. As I write this, the cause of death is unknown. He inisited that he be the one making all the calls to people to inform them. He was just standing there on Friday next to Jason at graduation, just did grad night with him. I don't know if he ever saw Saturday's sun rise into the morning sky, but my guess is that in his sleep, something (possibly related to his epilepsy) happened.
It's been a crazy few days, and I am really worried about Chris. Sure, he has Miles and Stephanie, and everyone else around, but I can't help but worry. He reminds me much of myself and my father, willing to angst over the petty, hiding all signs of anything major. I went out last night to hang up our cordless phone, and he was asleep on the couch. I don't think he wanted to sleep in a bed. I don't blame him.
This feels somehow very different. The last death in my family I vividly remember was Uncle John, and I can remember far more about that day than a 9 year old should (especially 10 or so years from the event). I remember how my dad was on that day.
I wonder how Chris will be on Thursday. All I can do is sit there and be a shoulder for him to lean on, to help him keep going. He's my brother, he's so close to me, and yet I feel very helpless in the matter. I hope Chris will be okay; Thursday maybe he can start moving forward.
In response to "Jason. 1985-2003":
The words of truth are always paradoxical.