I've deleted the first few sentences several times now. I can't or rather don't want to try and put things into words right now. So instead I am going to keep my chin up and my shoulder down.
You can't win 'em all but damn, can't I just win one now and again?
I need to get back to Monterey. I need to stop talking to exes. I need to go to Fanime even though I don't want to, and I need to find some people I don't know on the AX message board to room with because I am not going to let my $100 I have spent so far on conventions be wasted on circumstance. I need to start on my Master's program and I need to find a way to have enough money for that. I need to find a second job since 15 hours at ASAP a week won't nearly be enough. I need to forget about cosplay this year because I don't have the money, the time, or the people. I need to go to Dimple and find a CD of a band I want to hear, but fucked up the chance to go see. I need to stop needing and need to list these needs as wants.
I want to curl up and cry myself to sleep.
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